Drugs:

• Prevacid
• Kytril and Amend for nausea
• Saline drip
• Dexamethasone 4mg IV
• Etoposide and Cisplatin chemo
• Some stuff to unclog my port, which also necessitated an IV in my arm to get my labs and pre-meds going so I wouldn’t be stuck here until 7PM. I do hate getting poked, but I suppose I’m getting used to it.

Nurse: Anu

If you’re very observant, you may notice something different in the Drugs section up top there. Did you see it? No bleomycin. I had a pulmonary function test last Thursday, along with a chest X-Ray, and the PFT showed a significant decrease in my Carbon Monoxide Diffusion Level (down 34% from baseline). Given that decrease, Dr. Kahn decided to take bleo out of my regimen to hopefully prevent permanent damage to my lungs. Unfortunately, this means I will need a 4th cycle of the other 2 drugs. Apparently this happens in about 15% of patients, so it’s not totally uncommon, but it would have been nice for the odds to play out in my favor for once.

This news has put me into a very dark place mentally. I was all set for this to be my last cycle and be completely done by the 25th. Now, I’ll have another 5 straight days of this garbage and won’t be done until August 5th. If the alternative is dragging around an oxygen tank for the rest of my life, obviously I’ll choose the 4th cycle, but at this point it feels like I’m getting the worst of both worlds. I’ve already done 2 cycles of bleo and damaged my lungs, AND I have to get a 4th cycle of the other drugs that also cause nasty side effects that may be permanent. So, basically, F this S in the A.

But enough feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to give a shout-out to a little dude named Benjamin who’s got it worse than I do. His family set up a Facebook page for him at Brave for Benjamin. He’s going through some really extensive chemotherapy for leukemia, and he’s just a little kid! If he can do it, what’s an extra cycle for me? Yeah, it’s disappointing, but I’m a grown-ass man. If Benjamin can do it, then who am I to complain?

One other thing you may notice up top that felt apropos today – my t-shirt. It’s an old Tiger Football shirt that I’ve been wearing since about 1995. The message on this shirt, which was also the motto of our team for the four years I was there, is “Never Give Up.” I know Benjamin and his family aren’t going to give up, and obviously neither am I. Besides “Z’s in the knees,” it’s probably the most useful thing I learned playing ball. Two claps!